Wow, it's a boy! What do you do with a boy?

Tuesday we had the big ultrasound and found out we're having a baby boy!! We were not especially shocked but just in amazement and wonder. We're so excited to have a baby and the gender didn't matter. But it certainly makes it real and more excited then ever! Since the ultrasound, the doctor called and said the baby looks perfect but that he's measuring larger than the Dec 1st due date so we've been adjusted to Nov 27th! Yay!!





So the announcement was made through calls to family and close friends (who knew we were pregnant) and then a Facebook announcement:

Ryan and I love our little Ainsley so much we've decided to promote her to "Big Sister." Her Baby Brother is due to arrive on December 1st! Let the training begin!!

Flutters, Pangs, & VBAC (Week 19)

The other night I was falling asleep on the couch waiting for Ryan to get home from work (goes to the City Council meeting every other week) and something started fluttering in my lower abdomen. It actually caught my attention and woke me up. Now every time I relax at the end of the night I get to feel my little bambino dancing around.

Overall I've been feeling great. The only consistent symptoms I've been feeling is round ligament pain in my hips. Even that's been subsiding - except when I start my evening walks. I'm still walking - now 4 times a week for 3 miles. But by the time the walk is over and I relax the pain is gone and I feel much better than I did before.

The walking is something that has been a real goal for me. I decided not to worry much about my eating because I'm really not eating too much anyways. Also I haven't gained any weight, in fact, I think I've lost about 7 lbs since my 4-week OB appointment. I'm walking more to help strengthen my body and prepare for the delivery.

My hope is that I can deliver vaginally. I had a c-section with Ainsley and it was probably the most horrible experience of my life. I also want to try to deliver without the epidural. I found out that I have an allergic reaction to the epidural meds they use. My body shakes uncontrollably. With Ainsley's delivery, I had to have two epidurals because the back of her head was sitting on my tailbone (she was turned forward instead of being toward my back). Then the epidurals never really worked. By the time I was on the table for the c-section I was shaking so terribly that I thought I was going to either break a tooth or bite my tongue off. I had a c-section because I was in 12-hours of labor I only dilated to a 6.

I think this delivery can be very different. The pain that I was experiencing was mostly due to her being turned so what are the chances of that happening again? Then I want to just go as far into the delivery as possible without an epidural. I am looking into taking another birthing class to refresh my memory and give me some tools to help me through the delivery. Not sure how we're gonna get Ryan to one - maybe they'll have a shorter refresher course. Haven't gotten there yet in my research.

My next post will be at our 20-week ultrasound (which actually will be when I'm 21 weeks - just the way it worked out). This is the ultrasound we've been waiting for. For most people they are anxious to find out the baby's gender. For us it's really about the health of the baby. We've had enough challenges that this is really key for us. Of course, I'm excited to know if it's a boy or a girl. We have absolutely no feelings as far which one it will be. So yes, this is different. We knew Ainsley was a girl almost before we knew we were pregnant.

So soon we'll be making the big announcement!! Exciting times!

"Mommy's so funny!"

So we started talking to Ainsley about the baby coming. We say things like "There's a baby in Mommy's tummy!" Every time we say things like that Ainsley looks at "Mommy's" tummy and starts laughing hysterically and says "Mommy's so funny!" She thinks it's the most amusing thing she's heard. We can't help but laugh with her. Guess she'll find out some day.

I keep wondering how Ainsley will react to having this baby at home all of a sudden - a baby that will not go away. She sees babies all around at our Church and at the park or a friend's baby will be at our house during a visit. Ainsley will watch me holding a baby and she's fine with it but then the baby goes "away" and life is normal again. This baby coming in December is not going away... ever. This should prove interesting for Ainsley.

People say at this age Ainsley will adapt and forget quickly what life was like before the baby. But then there's just the daily routine that I know will be effected by the baby - the wake up routine, nap times, reading time, eating, snuggling, bedtime routing... all of this, every aspect, will be effected by the baby. How can that not effect Ainsley? What can I do to balance things and help her feel just as involved as she's ever been?

There's so much to think about. Part of me worries, another part of me feels like I need to let it go and know that I will have what has always worked for me - my mother's instinct.

Second Trimester - Yay!! (Week 16)

Today marks my 16th week. I'm pretty amazed that I'm here. So grateful and blessed. I am happy to report that the morning sickness has subsided. Once in a while I relive it but mostly it's gone. Hallelujah! Now I seem to have the hunger pains constantly so I'm trying to be careful eating lots of healthy snacks. I'll take it.

We had our nuchal transparency scan and test and thankfully it was negative so we're past a milestone that we have had issues with before. Based on the results the doctor didn't feel we needed to do the amniocentesis and I'm glad because I didn't plan on getting the test anyways. It was fun to have Ryan come for the test because it was the first time he got to see the baby and it was also the first time we heard the heartbeat and saw the baby on the ultrasound at the same time. Was a great moment; this is real!!

So, yeah, "this is real" ... gulp. I guess that's the feelings I've been dealing with. As the summer progresses - Ainsley's first summer on-the-move - I become more and more apprehensive about having a newborn and a toddler at the same time. I'm a little scarrrrred (think Oprah). Ainsley is a runner and she doesn't like to be stopped. I'm just not fast enough for her. I guess one of the blessings is we're having the baby in the Winter where Ainsley's a bit more enclosed (trapped!). Ha! Ha! We have started talking to Ainsley about it saying things like "there's a baby in mommy's tummy" but she completely is oblivious and that's okay. She'll figure it out soon enough.

Overall I've been feeling great! I'm walking about 2-3 miles 3-4 nights a week with a friend of mine and that's helpful. I'm pretty sure I am starting to feel a little of the weight of the uterus on my bladder and body in general. But it's nothing uncomfortable it's more so encouraging. The doctor says she can feel the uterus poking out a lot more. No one would know by looking at me that I'm pregnant though. I have two factors - I already have some padding in that area and I'm tall with a long torso. I didn't really show with Ainsley until 6-months. In fact, a lot of people didn't realize I was pregnant until she was almost here. I think this one will be a bit different because I'm starting to feel my pants are tighter so perhaps we'll be breaking out the maternity clothes earlier.

That's my update for now. We're plugging along here.

Hot Mess ... (Week 12)

"Someone or Something that is such a mess... the level of it, is off of the charts. It's past pathetic, past pitiful. It's to the point you almost have to walk away to keep from bustin a gut." www.urbandictionary.com

Yeah, folks that just about describes me right now. The last couple weeks seem to get worse and worse as the days go by. It started one day when I woke up and my back was out. I'd been limping around and in such pain. It hurt to sit, it hurt to stand, and walk. It's an old injury that just decided to raise it's nasty head and laugh at me.

Just as I started to feel a little better, my poor Ainsley got a nasty cold/allergy which makes her cough a lot at night. She was up at one point 3-4 times a night coughing so bad that she would gag and gasp for air. It was so freaky that I wasn't getting sleep at all worried I wouldn't hear her.

So my messiness went to another level of just sheer exhaustion. I had a couple days where I was sprawled out on the couch and Ainsley watched hours and hours of "Sesame Street" and "Word World" feeding off of crackers, cheese, apples, and fruit snacks. Then over the last couple days I felt like I was getting better - Ainsley's only been up a couple times a night and I've figured out she's not going to die of asphyxiation. Then I go and burn my hand - TWICE in one night. Never trust a pregnant woman with searing and baking steaks. We had company and I was using a cast iron pan searing steaks and then putting them into a 425 degree oven to finish. One time I actually started to pick up the pan by the super hot handle - duh!! Then I just laid the back of my hand against the side of the pan. I actually saw the oils of my hand sizzle on the pan.

Then today I topped it off with tearing my right pinky toenail off my foot. Blood everywhere - not much pain at first but within an hour I was hobbling around. So now I look like an old lady walking around. I have to say I feel really attractive these days. A hot mess.

Really - can this part be over already? (Week 9)

It's true, I think Heavenly Father blesses mothers with a cloud of forgetfulness when it comes to their past pregnancies. I hadn't remembered the horrible nausea that I had with Ainsley until well, I had it this time again.

The nausea is beating the crap out of me. In order to ward it off I have to eat and I have absolutely no interest in eating until I feel starved and then I eat too much which makes me sick for hours! And when I say I eat too much - I mean, I'll eat like half to a third of a normal portion of food. It's crazy. I have such a love-hate relationship with food right now.

I remember now feeling like that last time. I really got to the point that I hated food and couldn't imagine ever having a normal appetite and desire to eat again. I'm so getting there now. I'm hoping this doesn't continue the same length as before - I was sick like this until past 20-weeks. And then I got sick again for the last few weeks of the pregnancy.

This is why I dropped 25 pounds while I was pregnant. Although this time I don't think I'm losing as much. The reason why is I'm eating chocolate. I wasn't into chocolate during my last pregnancy. I am so in love with chocolate this time round. I mean, I've always been in love with it but it subsided last time. Not so with this pregnancy. I think I'm cutting that out soon.

Are we having fun yet? 8 weeks (caution: TMI)

CAUTION - serious complaining is being had in this post.

Today's my 8-week mark. The last 4-weeks have been hard. I feel like it's harder this time then when I was pregnant with Ainsley. The exhaustion is overwhelming at times. I have almost no energy to keep up with the daily household chores. Ryan actually broke down and cleaned the toilet the other day - that just makes it totally obvious to me how horrible things are getting. Some days are better than others when it comes to energy. I'll have spurts and I try to jump on them but then 30-minutes into it I'm done. I mean D.O.N.E. The nausea also has taken a toll. I remember this from before - this love-hate relationship with food. I love it when I'm eating it but hate it after and I feel sick. Or I haven't eaten enough and feel sick but not interested in eating to help myself. Okay, so this may be TMI so just skip to the next paragraph if you're not up to a frank conversation about poop... I have the worst constipation. I am taking a regimen of Miralax, Colace, flax-seed oil pills, and high fiber breakfast along with tons of fruits and veggies but nothing works. So horribly uncomfortable. My doctor gave me great news that no, this may just last my entire pregnancy. Ha!

Last time I was working a full-time job running around a 200+ mile radius area visiting with families and working in my office 45 minutes away from home. I was moving around like crazy. This time I'm home with a toddler who does keep me on my toes but I don't feel like I'm quite as busy and active as I was before - so shouldn't I be able to manage this better? I kept thinking this would be much better since I'm at home and can lay on the floor and dump snacks in the middle of the floor for Ainsley to eat. But no, I feel like it's worse this time. I think I'm just older - I'm getting too old for this. And to think we'd like to do this one more time. I'm almost tempted to be done.

OK, the complaining ends here (for now).